Kary family birth story:

I intentionally waited one month before I began our daughter's birth story because I wanted to take the time to reflect on the experience. Now that we have adjusted to the love and demands of a newborn, I realize now there isn't anything more wonderful then bringing life into the world.
When I first became pregnant we knew that we wanted a natural/unmedicated birth.

I recognize that natural birth is not for everyone. It takes a dedicated coach/partner and a lot of time and practice, which can be difficult to fit into a busy life. We had to fully immerse ourselves into the experience of preparing for our daughter's birth by making it apart of everything we did from yoga to nutrition to squatting and walking everyday and by taking Bradley classes. This made us feel empowered by the knowledge we gained and also ready for the unexpected turns childbirth can take.

When I would tell people the type of birth we were preparing for, most turned to me with a horrified look on their face and said things such as, "yeah right," "honey you're getting that epidural," but frequently we were asked "why?"

With the help of yoga meditations and communication with my partner Elias, we began to dissect that question by asking ourselves why attempting natural birth was important to us. There were two very important reasons. The first being, it fit our philosophy toward life. The second being that we believe that there are few experiences offered to us that require us to be fully present in the moment and childbirth, although painful, is a natural and rewarding event that we wanted to experience along with our unborn baby, consciously without the interference of drugs.

But, we also had to realize that we had nothing to prove and accepted that if I did have a c-section or any type of pain relief, that we would not be disappointed despite our efforts. With that said, I often think of a quote our friend Flannery wrote in her birth story, "every women's birth is her own," and I believe that to be true.

June 2, 2006:
I started getting contractions at 2:30 a.m., about nine minutes apart. They did not progress but were strong and lasted until 3 a.m., then abruptly stopped. I went to bed at 4 a.m. feeling a bit defeated.

June 3, 2006

8 a.m.
I woke up exhausted from the night before. I was past due and felling discouraged. I kept reminding myself that the baby would come when she was ready and to trust my body.

10 a.m.
Contractions started again but without pain. I called my doctor and he suggested coming in to be checked.

1 p.m.
The doctor checked me and I was only dilated 1/2 a centimeter.

2:30 p.m.
I told Elias that I just wanted to eat junk food and watch a movie to get my mind off of everything.

3:00 p.m.
We ate nachos and bought tickets to "the break-up." Contractions had stopped all together.

6:30 p.m.
About an hour and a half into the movie I felt a pain that started in my back and then moved up through my abdomen like a wave. This was it, unmistakable! I grabbed Elias's hand and whispered, "She's coming soon." And he asked if I wanted to leave and I said, "no, let's just wait." I had three more contractions like this during the movie and they felt like period cramps but more intense and located over my entire stomach and back.

7:30 p.m.
We went home and I told Elias that I wanted to get some rest because I was so tired from the night before. I went to the bathroom and actually heard a "pop" and my water broke on the toilet. I called for Elias and we saw that there was meconium (baby's first bowel movement) in my water because the water was green and brown. We did not panic, we knew from our Bradley classes what it was and that the baby was most likely doing well. Again, I told myself to trust my body and my baby and the natural process of birth. But, the meconium did mean that we would be going to the hospital right away and we would have to let go off our expectations of laboring at home.

7:45 p.m.
Elias called the doctor and he said that I might need a C-section. That simply was not true, but I did not have the luxury of picking my own doctor from the start and had come across a few philosophical differences thus far so, it did not surprise me that he said this.

8 p.m.
My water just keep on flowing and the contractions were coming about every six minutes. They hurt but I managed them on my own while Elias packed the car. I remember being thankful for the prenatal yoga classes I took because they had loosened me up enough to squat a lot throughout my pregnancy and at that moment, squatting was the position I found most comfortable.

8:30 p.m.
The car ride was painful, but little did I know that that was just the beginning. The contractions were four minutes apart and 45 seconds long. Elias kept rubbing my head and reminding me to breathe.

9 p.m.
I checked into the labor and delivery room at Good Sam Hospital and was greeted by a great team of nurses who read our birth plan and agreed not to mention or ask us if we wanted the epidural or pain relief. It was explained to us that I would have to stay in bed the entire labor, with fetal monitoring, and that I would be given pitocin because of the meconium. I had expected none of this but we didn't let it discourage us. To me it was the pitocin I dreaded the most because I knew it would make birth much more painful seeing that it makes contractions double peak and does not "let up" for the much needed breaks in-between contractions. At that moment I thought of my friends Elizabeth and Atoosa who all gave birth naturally with pitocin and they inspired me to remain focused and to breath.

10 p.m.
The pitocin was doing its magic by speeding up the contractions. They were extremely painful and I thought at that point I was not going to make it. One nurse told me it would be 12 hours before I would dilated to four and that our daughter would be born the next day around 2 p.m. Again, I knew that was not true, especially because I was already working so hard managing the pain and letting go of the pain. Elias stayed by my side the entire time reminding me to breathe and rubbing my forehead because that was the ONLY place I would allow him to touch.

10:30 p.m.
I told Elias to go eat because it would be a long night and he needed energy. I laid in the dark hospital room alone practicing breathing and relaxation. I kept repeating my personal mantras to myself reminding myself that the pain was natural, temporary, and necessary. I used visualizations from yoga class and kept focused on the end result: the baby. This is where mental preparation is key because the pain was so intense.

11 p.m.
A nurse came in to check me. Her face went blank and she said, "oh my God." I was shocked and grabbed her hand and asked, "What's wrong?" She said, "you're already six centimeters, I need to call your doctor." So much for 12 hours to get to four centimetres, I thought and got real excited because I was more then half way there!

11:20 p.m.
Elias returned excited and we started to prepare for transition, the shortest but most painful part of labor. From that point on I did not let go of his hand or move from my side laying position.

11:30 p.m.
A different nurse came in to check me because my doctor thought the last nurse had made a mistake. The new nurse told us I was seven centimetres dilated.

Midnight
Transition began and I felt like I was going to die. The contractions were double pecking and there was only 15 seconds between them. I could no longer visualize, all I could do was count and breathe, it was by far the most pain I had felt but I could still manage it.

12:30 a.m.
I started to breathe less and scream more. Elias kept me focused on his face and breathed with me but I just had to scream and boy did I ever! In fact, I could be heard down the hall according to Elias's sister who was in the waiting room. I also hummed and counted.

1 a.m.
I switched sides and felt the baby drop way down in two small jerks. They put an oxygen mask on me and the nurses along with Elias were chanting, "breathe Brandi breathe, breathe Brandi breathe." I sucked that air so hard and screamed. No one once offered me pain relief, and I was thankful they were so respectful.

1:30 a.m.
I turn to Elias and said, "I can't do it, give me the drugs." He said, I don't think that's possible now. And with that we just kept moving ahead. It was too late for the drugs but I was thankful he knew exactly what to say and do in that moment and that he didn't listen to me.

1:45 a.m.
My doctor arrives. His first words to me were, "you should get the drugs, it would make your life much easier." I was so angry and I called him the "F word" while Elias deescalated the situation by saying, "look how hard she is working, she's ready to push, she doesn't need the drugs."

1:50 a.m.
The doctor checked me and I was 10 centimeters dilated! He told me not to push because he had to change. I started pushing anyway. I couldn't help it.

2:00 a.m.
The room was prepared for pushing. I wanted to lie on my back to deliver; it was the most comfortable for me. The doctor was still changing but I started to push anyway, it felt really good.

2:10 a.m.
The doctor returned, and I started to really push by bearing down like I was going to the bathroom. I used the strength of each contraction while Elias kept saying, "good job, you are doing it." I was squeezing his hands and screaming.

For the next half hour I pushed and it burned but also felt good at the same time. Elias looked over and saw the baby's head crowning and also her hand, which was delivered next to her head.

2:46 a.m.
With one final push our daughter, Ophelia, came out crying. I was relived and electrified. I had a surge of energy running through me. The baby was not given to me right away because she had to have her stomach pumped due to the meconium. There are no words to describe the feeling.
I did not have an episiotomy nor did I tear which I believe is because of yoga, squatting, drinking tons of water, and perineum stretches.

My labor was fast and short but not necessarily less painful. In fact, I've read that most quick labors are more painful. I felt empowered as a woman to have gone though such a beautiful experience, especially with Elias who supported me and never left my side the entire time. He knew exactly what to do, even during unexpected circumstances. And I am amazed at what the female body is capable of and how together mother and child work in unison physically and mentally throughout the process of birth.