It was an epic saga of a birth. The choice to go to a facility where there were midwives 24/7 was key to our positive experience - not because we don't like doctors (in fact, we asked to have a doctor take over our care at one point because we liked her so much) but we hoped the midwife philosophy would prevail. We found this to be true in all the people who cared for us, and it became one of the best memories of my labor.

I was seven days past my due date and feeling occasional contractions, but nothing substantial. Fortunately, at my request, my doctor gave us a full two weeks from my due date before our induction appointment. We were doing all the things we could to get things rolling: lots of walking, nipple stimulation, and sex, in addition to listening to the meditation cd my doula made me and meditating about an easy birth (ha).

12/31/06 Ten minutes before midnight on New Year's Eve, I got up from bed where we had been happily sleeping away 2006 to pee. I felt a pop and realized my water had broken. I flushed and let more come out to check. If it had had some greenish brown meconium in it, we would have had to notify the docs so they could suction out the baby's lungs right after it was born, but luckily it was all clear.

Only 7% of women have their water break before labor has begun, and I knew this put me on a time clock. Most doctors (including mine at Kaiser) say that it's not an emergency, but when your water breaks, take a shower, get your bags and come in to the hospital. Once the water bag breaks, the likelihood of infection is higher, although one of the main causes of this infection are the many vaginal checks that doctors tend to do once you're in the hospital.

Knowing this, and how much we wanted to avoid induction through Pitocin, the next day we asked some friends in the medical field what the most liberal amount of time a doctor or midwife might wait before inducing. The answer that came back was 36-48 hours (and many midwives will just let you go until labor kicks in, no matter how long it takes). So we made a plan to be at the hospital about 36 hours from when the water broke, and in the meantime do everything we could think of to start labor.

Under the supervision of my doula, I tried castor oil, a homeopathic remedy, a strong infusion of raspberry leaf tea, and a long walk at the Self-Realization center on Mt. Washington in the hopes the baby might choose to do a little self realizing herself. Nothing worked. My doula wanted me to do lots of visualizations to open the path, and my friend Julie, a Birth Educator, wanted me to forget about it and go about my day, reminding me that if we haven't yet learned from pregnancy that we're not in control of these things, labor is sure teach us.

I did a little of both, but nothing worked. The time came to go into the hospital, a beautiful facility about 30 minutes away.

1/2/07 At 4pm I was 70% effaced and 1 cm dilated - still not in active labor. My husband Eric and I walked around the fountain and then on the top level of the parking structure and watched the sun set. It was beautiful and I was glad to be finally close to meeting my baby in whatever way she chose to come

10:30pm, 46 hours after water breaks, Pitocin is started. I was hooked up to two monitors which wrapped around my belly, in addition to IV fluids and of course the Pitocin drip. The artificially induced contractions came intensely almost right away, every 2-3 minutes. Unfortunately the baby was turned facing front, which caused what is called Back Labor - her spine pressed on mine and in addition to the contractions, there was a searing, burning nerve pain in my lower back. While my doula gave me inspiring images and reminders that helped me deal well with each contraction, I found it impossible to come up with anything positive to meet the back pain except to have her press on my tailbone which made it bearable. Luckily, she and my husband were tireless in doing this for me.

I spent the next 10 hours leaning on the bed, knees bent, sticking my butt out (in Anusara lingo, Inner Spiral) and swaying my hips to relieve the back pain. My doula was able to get her to turn momentarily by talking from behind, asking her to come to her voice, which was amazing to feel, but didn't last more than a contraction.

Although in general the nurses either left us alone and were respectful of our Birth Plan, one nurse came in and shook her head, saying "she's wearing herself out." Both my doula and my husband jumped in and disagreed, and she said it again, so in the middle of a contraction I lifted my head and told her that actually, this was one of the most incredible experiences I've ever had - to feel what the body can do. That got her quiet. It was truly an experience I knew I wouldn't have given up, feeling that incredible power erupting from within. I could have lived happily without the back labor though.

6am I go in the shower for 15 minutes. It felt amazing. When I got out, the energy had shifted - my doula was sleeping, and my husband was getting teary, saying he hated to see me in so much pain. I asked myself what I was doing - this wasn't some beautiful natural birth in the Black Sea, I was hooked up to monitors and my contractions were being controlled by a medication. How could I ask these people to keep working as hard as they were, and why would I myself continue on like this?

I decided to get checked, and if I hadn't progressed very far - I figured if I were still less than 4 - then I'd go ahead and get an epidural. When I got checked, we were all shocked to hear that after 10 hours I was still at 1 cm! She thought the slow progression could have been due to the fact that a Leep procedure I did 10 years previous (removing some abnormal cells from the cervix) may have left scar tissue that usually takes a long time to soften. The midwife suggested an IV medication instead of an epidural (an interesting problem with those who respect Birth Plans - she said "this isn't in your plan" and I agreed to it even though I felt in my heart it wouldn't work.) She told me it would make me groggy and I'd probably sleep through contractions. Ha! I slept for the two minutes in between and then had to be helped through the back pain, which was just as bad as it had been.

7:45am I said the code word for wanting an epidural that my husband and I had worked out - "white water rafting." The anesthesiologist was friendly and fast and good, and soon we were all taking rests. My best friend arrived, bringing new energy into the room and we listened to music and chatted.

10:30am 3cm and 80% effaced. Still progressing slowly. For some reason despite the epidural I could get on hands and knees, which I did, and focused on turning the baby. I breathed lots of space into my kidney area and I felt her turn. When they checked next, she was no longer posterior.

4:30pm It had now been 64 hours and 30 minutes since my water broke and I started to produce a fever - this was this infection they all worried about. It came with the chills, and all I wanted was to pile blankets on me, but of course to protect the baby I had to do the opposite.

5:30pm 6-7 cm. The shivering was so powerful that I couldn't take a deep breath which was adding to my stress and tension. When I said I needed to sing, my friend Melissa (we were old college roommates) and I sang all the rounds and harmonies we had learned in college, which really helped me breathe and made the chills go away in moments. We sang Joni Mitchell and Eva Cassidy and anything we could think of the words for. We were almost at Meatloaf when thank god the midwife interrupted to do a check.

10pm 8.5 cm. Things were happening - 8.5 centimeters is really close - but the doctor who we asked to take over was concerned about the fever (little did she know the water bag had broken 36 hours before she thought it did, but we had maintained constant contact with our friend, a Certified Nurse Midwife) and wanted to talk about a plan. She also said that while the baby's body was in a good position for birth, her face was looking upward and to the right (she does this in the middle of feedings - it's so cute), and that she could feel cervix on one side and not the other - meaning that the head wasn't pressing downward evenly to effectively dilate the cervix.

Either way, the baby was presenting the biggest part of her skull instead of with chin tucked, and in the nicest of ways the doctor said we might end up pushing for 3 hours and then having an "Abdominal Birth" anyway.

10:30 We decide to have an "Abdominal Birth", because of concern for the baby due to my fever, and her difficult presentation. Our doula asked if the baby could be brought to me right away and at least we could touch cheeks. Eric was with me the whole time and brought the baby and touched our cheeks, which was such a sweet experience. Then he carried her to the recovery room and put her skin to skin on his chest. Everyone agreed to all of our requests, and while the bright lights, the shaking, the dry mouth from not being allowed to even have ice chips for hours, and then the grogginess from the morphine all were really unpleasant experiences - hearing the sound of her two cries (and then finding out later that right after came a yawn from our little mellow girl) was a delicious moment.

It took a while for the drugs to wear off, but when it did, and I had my baby in my arms, the long drawn-out labor seemed a distant memory and I was filled with gratitude for my amazing team who got me to this point. While the doctor seemed to feel a little bad about the way things worked out, I told her I was happy about the experience due to how supportive and human and warm everyone was and the fact that it gave me so many experiences to draw from in my teaching. What we remember are those moments of connection to something deep in our hearts, an awareness of our immense power and at the same time that there is something bigger going on here that is not within our control.

And then I was on to breastfeeding, diapers, and trying to find moments of sleep for the next 6 months…because of the Caesarian we stayed in bed for a few days, just being with each other, and I feel this created a trust and communication between us that I am enjoying daily…Lela is pretty happy to be wherever she is, our little mellow Lela, who arrived on her own schedule, in her own time, 10 days past her due date, under the first full moon of the new year.