Jack Wilder's Wild and Amazing Birth Adventure

On Thursday, June 8th , 2006 at 4am, I awoke to contractions which were 7mins apart and 60secs long. I'd been having spotting for a couple days and feeling like we were getting close (although I stayed in bed and prayed he wouldn't be born on 6/6/06) We'd gone to bed pretty late the night before, so I was very interested in trying to sleep longer if at all possible - but of course I was WAY too excited to sleep. But I let Daddy sleep for another hour before I woke him up (I also wanted to make sure the contractions stayed consistent.)

And indeed, 5am rolled around and the contractions were the same. So I woke up Alex and he was thrilled, and we kept timing the contractions together for the next hour before we called Elena, our AMAZING doula. Elena reiterated that we should rest as long as possible b/c there could very well be a long day ahead of us (and how right she was), so I got in the bath and then got back in bed and tried to rest. But of course there was no way I could sleep.

At 8am or so, I realized that it might feel really good to get a massage. I hadn't known if I'd want to be touched at all during labor or not, but I found that every time Alex touched me it felt really good. So I called my prenatal massage therapist, Abigail, who had already said that she'd be thrilled to work on me during labor if I so desired - and I DESIRED. So both Abigail and Elena (who are also good friends) came over around 10, and the next few hours were so beautiful and powerful, with these two amazing women working on me and Alex talking me through the contractions, holding my hands and face and filling me with love and strength.

I can't say enough about how much the support of these three wonderful people guided me through my entire labor and made even the most difficult moments meaningful and powerful. And massage really helps! During contractions, one person would squeeze my hips together, and the other would push in and down on my sacrum. And then in between they'd massage me all over to keep me relaxed. It really really relieved the pain. At one point I turned to them and told them I should go into labor more often! This was definitely the way to do it.

Over the next few hours, the contractions were definitely getting stronger, although they remained the same frequency and length. My mom also joined us at home and she was a big support as well. I already had my weekly doctor's visit scheduled for 1:30 and we decided to keep that appointment to have my doctor check my progress in her office rather than heading to the hospital before we absolutely had to. At the appointment, we found out I was 80% effaced and 3-4cm dilated!

Elena was really amazed b/c I'd been so calm during the contractions and she said that in her experience, women are generally a lot more grumpy at that stage. And I was thrilled b/c I'd been prepared to be disappointed to find that I'd barely dilated, etc. So we were well on our way - or so we thought.

My doctor told me that I could go home for a couple more hours, but that she thought I should head to the hospital around 4pm b/c I was GBS positive and needed to get antibiotics at least 4 hours before the baby was born. So we went home, I ate a sandwich, sat on the birthing ball, took a shower, and got a massive craving for warm, fresh, gooey, just out of the oven Tollhouse chocolate chip cookies, which my darling husband rushed out to get me. While the cookies were fabulous, we all were a little suspicious that my contractions really weren't increasing in frequency or intensity. So we stayed home longer than planned and headed to the hospital at 6pm.

This is when things started to turn a bit. They checked me at triage and found that I was 100% effaced and still 3-4cm. Bummer. They transferred me to my birthing room (lucky I didn't have to stay in triage long) and over the next four hours my contractions got WAY more intense - way way more intense - definitely really painful, although I will still say that the massage continued to help immensely. I was also getting really tired.

By midnight, I'd been at it now for 20 hours and I was starting to get worried that I wouldn't have enough energy to push and even worse, that I wouldn't have enough energy to really enjoy my baby right after his birth. The doctor checked me again and found that I hadn't progressed at all. That was incredibly disheartening and it felt like it was getting really impossible to fathom keeping this up. So I decided to get an epidural at that point. I'd always been open to the idea, but I'd wanted to see what natural labor would be like - and I had fear of some of the risks of the epidural, but ultimately I felt like I didn't need to prove anything to anyone and because the doctor wanted to break my water manually and put me on Pitocin to make the contractions stronger, the idea of some pain relief sounded pretty darn good at that point.

So I got an epidural and I asked for a very low dose so I could still feel the contractions, and the anesthesiologist thought I was nuts, but obliged - and I'm glad b/c I could still feel what was going on. Everyone said I should rest and that the Pitocin would do the work, so I did, and so for the next 4 hours or so, we all tried to rest. Alex, my mom, and the steadfast Abigail and Elena stayed by my side as we all tried to get at least a little shut eye (which again, of course, was impossible for me, really.)

During this time I kept saying to Elena, I just feel like I shouldn't sleep, like I should be more active in trying to focus and make this happen -- it just felt wrong to just lay there. But again, we all knew I needed rest for the final round.

Again, unfortunately, my contractions didn't really increase. The baby's heart was pretty strong throughout, so they weren't too worried about him, so they just kept upping the Pitocin. And 5 hours later or so, I was checked again and I'd actually gone backwards: my cervix was getting really swollen from all the contracting and the baby trying to move down, and so now it was more like 80% effaced and still 3-4cm. My doctor broke the news that she thought I should have a Cesarean. I was really upset -I pleaded with her to see if there was anything else we could try first - and she said she really thought we'd tried everything and the most important thing was to get the baby out. Of course I totally agreed with her and knew that we'd do what we had to do, but I was pretty devastated, after going through so much.

I asked her to give me a minute to collect myself and the doctor left the room -- this was one of the most intense moments of the whole experience, where Alex held me and we cried together, and Elena and Abigail and my mom also broke down on the other side of the room. We'd been through so much. But now we had to accept that this was going to be what it was going to be and I was going to have my beautiful son in my arms soon.

2 minutes later, my doctor came back in the room with our current nurse, Michelle. She said OK ok ok, we'll try for a couple more hours. Michelle convinced me that because the baby's heart is strong that we can still up the pitocin more and try to really make this happen. But two more hours and that's it. We couldn't believe it!!!! All praise Michelle!! What a wonderful gift she gave me and what an amazing thing that my doctor could be malleable and listen and give it another shot. So:

I decided that we were going to get serious about actively getting my sweet baby to make his way into the world. Michelle encouraged me to sit up in the hospital bed, leaning forward on a pillow on top of a tray table so I was upright and gravity could work, even though I'd had the epidural and couldn't get up. And I asked for some time alone and just sat and talked to my baby and told him it was time and that we were going to work together to bring him into the world and that we were ready, so let's do it!!! And then my amazing support system came back in the room and the massages started back up and then I knew it was time for some rousing music!!

And Alex had made me a great mix of jazz and classical, and just on a whim we decided to put some rousing action movie score themes on there, just in case. And I'm so glad we did! For the next hour or so, we all rocked out to the themes from Superman, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Jurassic Park and E.T. I danced around with my arms and everyone else bopped around and we got the blood flowing and told our baby to come out come out come out!!!

Two hours later, my doctor came back into the room. I was fully prepared at that point to accept the Cesarean, feeling like we had really done all we could do. She checked me and:

100% effaced and 10cm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wooooooo Hoooooooo!!!!!!! We did it!!!!!!

Excitement filled the air. It was time to push. I pushed and pushed and pushed for a long time - and it was hard (especially when my psoaz/round ligament pain that had flattened me in my 2nd trimester came back) but I was just so thankful to be there, so thankful for the support of all the amazing people who helped me get there.

And lo and behold, 36 hours of labor later, my sweet, beautiful boy, Jack Wilder, was born into this world.

That's it!! Please pass on my best wishes to the rest of the wonderful women in your class. I can't wait to hear their (and yours!) stories as well.

With much love and many thanks,

Sam